Headdesk

[Stephanie Amberson]

0900
Infirmary
Delta Base


Okay so it had been a rough ride. Concussion followed by getting shot. A rookie mistake, turning her back. It got her stuck between cross-fire, the shot had hit her in the leg. That was only because she had realized her mistake and dove for cover. The dive for cover had come too late. Now here she was stuck in a hospital. Grouchy, irritated, on pain killers, alone and feeling like an idiot; that was such a wonderful combination for the brunette. This is what she got for staying out of trouble and keeping her nose clean. Ha right, if this was what happened she was better off with her piss ant attitude.

The nurse came in and Stephanie just glared at her. She was touching her leg and she wanted to find a prosthesis laying around, if no other reason than to beat the woman upside the head with it. Right the pain killers only did so little and they didn't give her a mark of emotional stability either. In her eyes, she had failed. Again. Not only had she failed herself; she had failed the entire command. No! Stephanie was not a failure, but she felt like one. "Az shte vi nameri i shte vi iztrebi." (I will find you and destroy you.) The Bulgarian was at a soft growl. She had no strength to do more than that. When Stephanie spoke Bulgarian, it was not a pretty day.

The color was slowly returning to her face, but she looked as pale as she felt. The woman managed to sit up once the nurse was gone, but her head felt heavy. Drugs, right. They made her feel funny and tingle. She looked around the room. Right. She was alone. There was a sort of short snort that sounded like a sigh that came from her vocals as she laid back. Stephanie calm... maybe outwardly...

<<Tag: Ajay>>

[Ajay Martin]

0900
Infirmary
Delta Base

Moving around the Infirmary with little do, Ajay knew that Travis had been badly hurt or rather taken a shot on his arm by the enemy. That man was the “Wizard” and the wizards weren’t supposed to get hurt, they were magical beings with wands. But then again they were humans too. Even the others had taken few hits and bruises; however small or minor injuries. Walking out, decided to move towards the med bay to see how Kent was doing with is broken leg. From what he could tell the other doctor would be cussing and ranting; an amusing thought.

Smirking he was about to head towards the foul mouthed doctor when another voice reached his ears. While he knew the voice he was just perplexed as to what she was doing here. Ambling back down to two beds, Ajay could only gawk at her, before his brows frowned, “What the h3ll happened to you?” he asked bluntly.

<<Tag Steph>>

[Stephanie Amberson]

0901
Infirmary
Delta Base

Stephanie heard a familiar voice. Right it was Mister I have to keep you out of trouble so you are stuck with me until we get back to base. Why would he care if she was here? Hell Travis was probably up in his hospital room celebrating. She groaned in pain as she turned to face it. It wasn't like Stephanie to ever really groan in pain but really she wasn't on any major pain killers at the moment, mainly because it was dosing herself and she never did it. That was just her. No pain no gain really.

"Does it matter?" she responded with a question. Really? What did her hospital stay matter to the man beside her bedside chiding her out. If anything, should she still even be here after she made that mistake? She doubted it but that was her superiors call not hers. The Captain hadn't yet given Ajay eye contact. Mainly because she felt like eye contact at this point was worth too much effort. She hadn't asked for him to come in and be a sarcastic donkey's hind end. Stephanie rolled her head over in his direction after a moment. She would never admit that having company right now was something she appreciated, even if it was her catalystic guard. Heh..

<<Tag: Sarcastic Pain in the rear>>

[Ajay Martin]

0901
Infirmary
Delta Base

He was partly amused, partly insulted, even partly baffled by her response which was another question itself. He wasn’t really sure what to expect when it came to her. But he admitted it won’t be Steph if did actually reply with a proper answer. But did that woman had to be more complicated than she already was. There were others that he could call a Jigsaw puzzle at first then put the pieces together as he got to know them. Yet he wasn’t able to call her a puzzle or snakes and ladders.

Shaking his head at her or rather at himself, he pulled a seat out and sat. Schooling his face he looked at her, then calmly raised his eyebrow, “No,” he told her, trying to keep humour out of his voice, making a face and shaking his head, “Not really. But it’s human nature to be curious, isn’t it?”

Leaning back he folded his arms over his chest and studied her. It was obvious that she was in pain from her wounds she had gotten during the battles, “Maybe you might want to stop being strong all the time,” he said, without a reason, “And allow someone to help. You can’t keep shutting people out.”

<<Tag: Miss Un-reasonable>>

((Sorry for a super long wait))

[Stephanie Amberson]

0901
Infirmary
Delta Base

If Stephanie was good at anything, it was shutting people out. The woman had been doing that all her life. She had lived too many places to even think of letting people in. The woman protected those around her and that was about it, but that didn't mean she had to like them and they certainly didn't need to know her. Right his snippy attitude. She could shut people out for as long as she wanted to shut people out for.

"No one will ever understand" she snapped. That was all there was too it. No one could ever understand that pain she had been through. The Captain had lost an entire team of people, there was no way that anyone could ever bring them back. As if her life hadn't been bad enough they decided to throw that at her. There was no attachment to anyone in her life. Not even her son who she had adopted out because her foster parents wouldn't have it wasn't privvy to much in her life now that she had him back. She was dealing with a Schizophrenic almost teen at home and she had to stop being the strong one? Er... no wasn't going to happen. Stephanie would always be the strong one.

<<Tag: Mr. Needs a Reality Check>>

[Ajay Martin]

0901
Infirmary
Delta Base

She baffled him, Ajay noted, really and truly baffled him to no end. What the heck was her problem was something he was still trying to figure out since he had seen her nearly biting Travis’s head off, with little to no effect on the Major himself. She was trying to shut him out that was clear – he wasn’t retarded when it came to emotions as he made himself out to be. He was after an observer. He could put her entire history together from her attitude if he wanted to. Given she won’t have liked that either. If he told her about her chipped shoulder; she would eat him alive. Last thing he wanted. Inhaling he just looked at her all while she snapped.

Shaking his head at her – wrong he knew – but what else was left for him do anyway. She would chew him out regardless of what he did or said. No wonder Travis was smart enough to hide from her. Titling his head at her, “You don’t know that,” he spoke softly, “You can’t just decide that no one will understand – till you tell them what the problem is. People will surprise you.” And many would.

Even his first impressions had been wrong on few members of the Expedition. So same could be applied for her and how she thought many won’t get it.

<<Tag Captain Chip -on-shoulder>>

[Stephanie Amberson]

0901
Infirmary
Delta Base

Stephanie just laid back in the bed and her eyes narrowed softly. "You don't know anything about me" Her voice seemed guarded. Who was he to say that she had to let people in on her life? The woman didn't trust anyone, no one had ever given her much of the decency early in her life. Used and abused, she was the one who should have died that day but no there were people there who had pulled her out.

Eyes closed "People turn their backs on each other" that was about the only thing she was going to say on the matter. This was just a little of what was being said getting throw her thick skull. Her eyes opened but she didn't look him in the eyes, no she looked passed him at the spot on the wall. There was no point at looking him in the eyes.

"Civilian Wanna be Doctors think they know everything" she chided lightly. She was taking a stab at him, more or less because she thought she felt threatened; he was getting to close and asking too many questions. The woman didn't want to open up so she was pushing back to get the reaction she always got, the person would back off. It had worked her entire life, so why not now? It was too close for comfort.

<<Tag: Dr. Wannabe>>

(ooc: crack... he is getting somewhere... slowly but )

[Ajay Martin]

0902
Infirmary
Delta Base

She was right, he admitted, he didn’t know her. Then again she wasn’t giving anyone a chance to get to know her, “True,” he agreed, lightly, “but you aren’t allowing anyone to get to know you, either.” He pointed out, “And that doesn’t help you or the next person to come in contact with you.” Her guard just baffled him. While there were moments that he blocked out everything, but he wasn’t the one to do it 24/7.

Her comment caused him to face her with narrow eyes and a thoughtful look, “Only cowards turn their backs on those who need help, and none of these people are that.” Most around here would be willing to risk and lay their lives for others. SD-1 going into the stronghold of the Titans to rescue one of their own took courage and feeling; regardless of the fact that the person was the wife of SD-1’s leader and commanding officer.

Grinning at her chiding, Ajay tapped his nose in the same way he used the motion to cheer up his daughter whenever she was mad/upset/ or just plain refusing to talk to him, “Naturally,” he responded lightly, “Besides I’m a doctor in case you have forgotten and a smart one at that.” He wasn’t really boosting about the smart part. Folding his arms, “I’m not really sure about the ‘wanna be’ part.” He winked at her.

<<Tag Miss Fussy>>

[Stephanie Amberson]

0903
Infirmary
Delta Base

Stephanie shook her head. "I protect myself when I have to" she didn't say why she needed to protect herself by not letting people know her, that was none of his concern. If anything it was a little bit of progress and only more so confirmed she was hiding things from others. When he said something about making contact with her she simply raised a brow. "I have my reasons." she informed him. Her tone was edgy but not blunt and as accusatory as it had been. Her shell was cracking more as he just sat and talk to her like she was a human being and not some troubled walking abomination.

"I have yet to find anyone in my life who doesn't eventually turn their back on me. 30 year patterns are not so easily forgotten." she was quick to add the last sentence. Stephanie didn't really want to tell more but she did. "I spent 15 years in 16 different foster homes after my family died. The military has raised me for the last 13 years. You let others survive and you give them what little hope you never had to begin with. You get screwed over, you pick yourself up and ignore the idle chatter around you." she spilled out for whatever reason.

Stephanie never talked about anything that happened. The only people who knew her parents were dead were the people who put them in the ground and the social services people who took her away. Sure it was in her personnel file if anyone REALLY wanted to it was there, but she had no idea who had bothered looking. "Better than dumb as a box of rocks" she mumbled to his comment, there was a short eye roll after it. It was in slight mockery but at the same time it was in a joking manner. When he said he wasn't sure about the wannabe part she could not help but try to keep her concealed snort laugh penned in. It was true.. well at least from her standpoint. Smart alec people didn't generally get to keep their strong points around her.

<<Tag: Mr. Better than Rocks>>

[Ajay Martin]

0905
Infirmary
Delta Base

Ajay sighed as she leaned towards being stubborn and bull headed. He wondered if there was a way to get through her at all. A tiny whiny bit would be better than nothing. For a moment he did think she might have had few loose screws in her head. Then again who didn’t around here? Most had some level of insanity in them, including the shrink – herself. He had met her once and she was scary as he was told she would be. Inhaling, Martin looked at her, “Yes,” he nodded his head, “but not all the time.” Whatever her reasons were he wasn’t going to pry into them. She needed to gain the understanding that she could trust these people.

He quietly listened to her tale of her early life she was sharing with him, which was surprising since he wasn’t a shrink, but then again, Collins had told him that not everyone was willing to open to a Psychologist. Not that they were scary, but some people didn’t really feel comfortable in talking to them. Just a feeling she had said. But what she was telling was even more shacking than her actually opening up. A hard life like that would make anyone act and behave the Steph was, looking at her, “You will find not just someone, but a whole group of people, if you gave anyone one half a chance. I might not have lived in your shoes, nor do I admit I would like to.” He was being openly honest, “But there comes a time in one’s life that they have to let go of what was and expect what they have been given today. Carrying that stack of past potatoes is not going to give you the future you seek or are planning on seeking.” Heck, he had been through one divorce and that had been life changing, but he still had people he trusted. While it was cliché to say it, he still believed in relationships. Ohh...Collins would be proud.

Hearing her teasing tone in her words, Ajay smiled, “That’s far better than being Major Cocky.” He chuckled. Yet hearing her laugh was a surprise. At least she wasn’t punching him out of the door, just yet. Still he was half expecting her to shoot daggers and whatnot. Even a tantrum he was often used to see or hearing about in the hallways.

<<Tag Miss Giggles>>

((Who the heck gave Ajay a dose of Vanessa Collins?))

[Stephanie Amberson]

0906
Infirmary
Delta Base

Stephanie looked towards him and shook her head. "Trusting people has never been my forte, Martin. It never ends up well. I will protect these people, and I won't let anything happen to them, but I can't just trust. she looked towards him and her eyes were glazed over. "I failed, again. If we had done our damned job, Kepler would still be alive" she didn't want to talk about it but it was out there. Losing people never went well with Stephanie. It was always her fault. She rolled over and looked at the wall, she had tears coming down her face. People were dead because of her failures. People always ended up dead because of her mistakes.

When he said something about being better than Major Cocky she just nodded in agreement. "At least you try and get to know people. I doubt Oxford would ever understand" she said outloud. "Or care" she mumbled under her breathe. Stephanie was just searching to be understood, but she never trusted people. Ajay was the only one so far who had managed to burst into her personal bubble and get her to talk about anything. Yet he had done nothing to earn her trust, but he had given her a chance. Most people took one look at the damage done to Stephanie and left well enough alone. Most of the time she liked it that way. However, despite never wanting to admit it, every once in a while it was nice to just talk to someone.

<<Tag: Someone who understands>>