Keep You Close

[Ayden Sheppard]

1525
Barracks

The Delian Galaxy was nothing like Ayden had remembered it. After her transfer out of the galaxy she had thought she'd never come back, especially after her husband, Alavair Leah, had been killed in battle. She remembered that day like none other. She had been at work when the word had come in. She had never felt so afraid, so alone, it was like a dark cloud had come and taken residence right above her head. It was like nothing she had ever felt before and it was still lingering. Despite the fact that it had been quite some time since his death, the scars were still fresh and she was having a hard time getting through everything. She had retired from the Air Force, decided it was what was best for her and she had planned on finding herself a nice home to live in, far away from everyone, and just going back to the things that kept her happy. Her knowledge, archaeology, anthropology, linguistics. Those were the things she was able to work in. Apparently the United States Government had different plans for her because no more than a few months into that did she get recruited for the NID.

It wasn't a position Ayden wanted but it was something she accepted. Staying at home going over old treasures, looking at artifacts was something she loved and always would but she was a Military woman through and through. She needed to get out, needed to explore. She was back in the Delian Galaxy now, this time as an Assistant Special Agent-In-Change, which was a ludicrous title in her opinion, and she honestly had no idea what her 'true' job was. She had wished she would have been able to put the government aside and just return as a Doctor, which was her rightful title in many areas, but no. Things never work out the way you plan and as Ayden got older she started to understand those things more and more. Being back in the Delian Galaxy was painful to her. This was where she had met her late-husband, this was where they had spent their life together and most of their time. This was where he had proposed and this was where they had grown closer. They had some rough bumps along the way, yes, but they loved each other through it all and being back where it all started was making that dull ache in the center of her chest throb.

After Ayden was settled in and her things were where they belonged, the young woman pulled on her BDU jacket - which she still wore, despite the fact she was no longer military - and left the room. She had one destination in mind at the moment and she was hoping the young woman she was searching for was around at the moment. Ayden clutched a small neatly wrapped package in her hands and her steps were quiet as she made her way down the hallways. It didn't take long to get pointed in the direction she needed to go and in a matter of a few moments she was standing outside of a room that belonged to her faithful comrade, her best friend. A slender hand clenched into a fist as the young woman lifted it to the door and placed two knocks upon the steel. Then she waited; it was all she could do. After what seemed like a lifetime - even though in all actuality it was no more than a few moments - the door opened and Ayden was greeted with an all-too-familiar face. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

< Tag Kat >

[Katrina Logan]

1526
Katrina’s Quarters

Life became complicated again the moment Katrina opened the door. The young woman before her was a complete surprise. Sleep was the number one item on the Major’s agenda as of late. The last mission literally wore her out and the remnants of having blue skin still remained on parts of her body unexposed to anyone else. She had complete orders to take the entire week and rest. That meant the medical officer had no contact with any officers, and any intelligence informing her that former members were flying across galaxies to return. Logan stood there in another world as flashbacks came of a different time.

Ayden knew Kat when she was engaged, ready to settle down and give her life to the man who was meant to be her husband. She could remember going to Ayden’s bachelorette party and telling her all about the news in secret of their upcoming engagement. After Ayden’s wedding, the two slowly grew apart. It wasn’t because of anything they had done, but the military duty of off-world missions taking everyone away from their Stargate family and placing them in danger. Being captured now twice for long lengths of time didn’t make matters any better. It was going to be a long day telling her of all the things that had happened since they last talked.

But how could she mention Robert? She had no idea where he was. He simply just disappeared, abandoned her when she needed him the most. Katrina all but moved on, but the sight of Ayden’s beautiful eyes brought all of the feelings she had for him back. Kat knew that someone else was filling the void deeply torn in the Major’s heart, someone better. Kat knew she should continue to strive and be happy with this individual, and for the most part she was happier. But, there’s always a part of you that will never let go of your first love. And there’s a part of her looking for closure as to what she had did to make him leave.

Coming out of her little daze, Kat shook her head. ”Ayden? I…I thought you were…” she began opening the door wider to let her in. A smile was now forming seeing such a soothing face, ”long time no see.”

<Tag: Ayden>

[Ayden Sheppard]

1526
Katrina's Quarters

Ayden knew that everything had changed since she had last been back but she never put much time and effort into thinking about just how much things could have changed. She had kept in touch with a few select people via letters for awhile until Alavair died then she had fallen off the face of the Earth, trying to deal with a grief that was far too hard to deal with. She may have put a smile on for everyone around her but she was still broken into so many pieces inside. Alavair had been her life and while she knew their jobs were risky, she never thought she'd lose him like she had. What made matters worse was the fact the last time they had spoken hadn't turned out so well. They had been arguing and hadn't fixed things since then.

She was going to push those thoughts from her mind right now though. Katrina deserved her complete attention. Ayden wanted to know everything that was going on in her best friend's life. She wanted to feel close to someone again and Kat was her best friend, she had been her Maid of Honor and now the young woman couldn't wait to see her best friend's smiling face. When the door opened Ayden carefully studied the other woman's expression before a light chuckle left the retired Lieutenant Colonel's lips. "Dead?" She asked, it never once crossing her mind that a few people might have thought she was dead after not responding to any letters, phone calls or the like.

"How are you, gorgeous?" She asked the shorter woman quietly, her long arms wrapping around Kat's neck as she pulled her in for a hug. Ayden had never really been the emotional type and had never thought that would change until Alavair came along. There were still a small amount of people who could see her in this sort of sense though and Kat was one of them. After breaking their hug, Ayden stepped inside and closed the door behind her then offered the neatly wrapped present to her friend. "How have you been, Major?"

< Tag Kat >

[Katrina Logan]

1526

The present looked so professionally wrapped and neat with its tiny bow perfectly aligned in the center and the paper matching. But that was Ayden, the perfectionist. But, Ayden was also strong and Katrina knew all about Alavair and the tragedy that struck her heart. Katrina was gone away in a cell being transformed into the prior while his funeral was commencing. She couldn’t be there for her dear friend at the time she needed support the most and it killed the Major inside deeply. Her delicate ivory fingers took the present after the long (most needed) hug with a larger smile forming across her lips. The door behind Sheppard closed with a standard echoing click.

”As best to be expected after becoming a blueberry for a while” she replied staring down at the present, feeling awful that she had nothing in return. How could the Major start the conversation? The last time they spoke, it was of wedding plans and families and children, for both of them. Now, neither of them had anything or anyone. Well, at least she thought so.

”How have you been doing Assistant Special Agent in Charge? Who came up with that one?” she finished laughing.

<Tag: Ayden>

[Ayden Sheppard]

1527
Katrina's Quarters

Ayden honestly never thought she would be so happy to see someone in her life. Apparently she was wrong though, because upon seeing her best friend, the young woman's heart was swelling with joy. She needed Kat around and she liked to think that Kat needed her around. She wasn't going to voice anything of that nature right now though. Instead, she was going to enjoy the time the two had together right at this moment. Inside the neatly wrapped package were a few of Kat's favorite treats from Earth, as well as a new journal, leather bound. It was something Ayden thought her friend might enjoy and if not, there was always next time, right?

"I heard about that. I would have paid to see it." Ayden chuckled softly as she leaned her frame against Kat's dresser, the palms of her hands then resting on the piece of furniture as the young woman glanced around the room, a small smile coming to her face for a moment before lifting her gaze to the Major. Nothing had really changed from what she could tell, at least not physically. She could tell that something was off with her friend though, and it was killing her that she couldn't figure it out. At Kat's next words, Ayden laughed right along with her. "I wish I knew. It's a bullnuts title, in my opinion. I don't even know what it means. I rather have my Military rank back or just be called 'Doctor' but ... it is what it is."

She shrugged a little. "I've been fine. Been making do with the time I have, I suppose. How about you, hm? What's been up with you and don't say nothing. I can tell something has changed."

< Tag Kat >

[Katrina Logan]

1528

There it came, the question she dreaded. If there was anyone on base that could unravel her every thought, interpret her like the book she was, it was Ayden. Marcus was still learning so much about the Major and the Major about the Second Lieutenant. How was she going to explain all of this to her? Surely, she didn’t need to hear about her sob story. Taking the present, she took the bow off the top walking over to her friend. ”Well for starters, let’s see what Santa brought for me” she joked pushing the bow to the side of Ayden’s head with a light pat.

Enough adhesive kept it in place as Kat turned her head to the side like a curious kitten. ”There, that’s more like it” the medical officer smiled opening the paper revealing the box inside. ”What’s going to pop out Ayden? Knowing you…” she continued until it revealed her favorite Dove chocolates and a leather bound journal. Her stomach ironically gave a small growl in appreciation of the food. Since the sickness from the previous mission, Kat didn’t dare eat anything. But, this was special times. Taking out two, she reached for Ayden’s soft hand and placed one inside. ”I think we both look like we could eat a case of these” the Major smiled opening her tinfoil and popping the square in her mouth.

Oh, the sensation of the chocolate melting in her mouth was like an exotic sexual encounter. No, it was better than sex. Kat let out a moan of appreciation and would save the rest of the small box for later. Now tTaking out the journal, Kat looked at its beauty. ”Thank you Ayden. I…I…need this…new beginnings” she finished in a whisper not allowing the tears to come through.

Ayden was now giving her the look, thetellmewhatsgoingonbeforeIknockyouonyourass look. Kat took in a long sigh. ”Where would you like me to start? The part about being a prior for months, or maybe the part about the cloning experience, or maybe the part of being abandoned by the man you lo…….” she stopped realizing just how angry it sounded.

”Oh Ayden, I’m sorry….I….” She felt horrible now, ruining the moment.

<Tag: Ayden>

[Ayden Sheppard]

1527
Katrina's Quarters

A small smile crossed Ayden's face then. It was nice seeing her friend smiling and happy. Even though Ayden had no idea what had taken place in Kat's life over the past few months that she had been away, she could tell from just looking at the Major that a lot of things had went down the wrong path and she was going to do everything she could to see Kat smile again. The young woman laughed when Kat pressed the bow to the side of her head. "Now I think I'm the present you wanted."

The retired Lieutent Colonel smiled a bit as she waited for Kat to open the box and when she did she lifted her gaze to the major's face, waiting to see what her reaction would be. "Mm. I've done my share of that already. Right along with eating out a Ben & Jerry's." The older woman chuckled, lifting the piece of chocolate to her lips and she popped it in her mouth. As the chocolate melted she closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. There really was nothing chocolate couldn't fix, was there?

As she opened her eyes again, her gaze dropped to the journal and she reached a free hand to rest on top of Kat's. "Funny. That's what I had engraved on the bottom." Ayden smiled, pointing to the gold lettering at the bottom of the front cover. "I had a feeling that something was going on and I figured this would be the best way for you to let out all the frustration. God knows having a breakdown in front of one of the guys on base would be catastrophic."

Ayden's brow rose slightly at Kat's next set of lyrics before shaking her head. She moved to take a seat on the bed beside Kat and placed her hand on the woman's shoulder. "Don't apologize. I asked what has been going on and I want to know. I wasn't just being polite. I have the entire day to sit here and listen to you. Take advantage of it." Ayden smiled and gently nudged her friend. "So come on, out with it."

< Tag Kat >

( Sorry it took so long. This flu has knocked me on my ass. )

[Katrina Logan]

1528
Katrina’s Quarters

Come out with it continued to echo in Katrina’s mind. Her eyes went from the new journal to Ayden back to the journal. There was so much to tell her, so many feelings pent up inside that no one could possibly understand. Except Ayden. She had lost the most important thing in her life and Logan wasn’t there. She had abandoned her friend in time of need. A ping of anger surged through veins remembering the reason she wasn’t able to attend the farewell to an amazing soldier. Damn those hyprocritical, egotistical, maniacal, bastards taking me away from this! Her voice shook, but there was something eating her up inside.

”Ayden, I must first apologize for my absence at Alavair’s memorial service” she began head down. She couldn’t seem to look her in the eye, the guilt riddling the medical officer like the plague. ”At the time of his passing, I was in the hands of a race of people that only believed in superiority, dominance, and making me believe I was something I’m not. “ Logan even went to the extent of removing part of her shirt to prove that it wasn’t a lie. Why? She had no idea, but the guilt kept building. ”They beat me until I complied. They made me believe that I killed the man I loved. They made me believe I was the sole survivor of the expedition” the officer continued showing Ayden the scars still remaining across her shoulders and back from the whips and rods used to force train Kat into becoming a prior. ”The worst part?” began the young woman bringing her shirt back over and in place. While buttoning, tears fell but composure allowed for her voice to be strong. ”He didn’t come for me. He never came. I really thought he was dead. And when I finally did see him, something inside me died.”

Turning to her friend, she looked at and continued to explain the details of the training and how her team had come to her rescue. She told of how Chris Hatfield and interrogated the prior and turned her mind back to where it belonged. All the while, Walker was in the distant watching. It killed her inside.

But that was only the beginning.

”There’s more”, came out as the Major walked over to her dresser. Inside the small sock drawer was the box. She never got rid of it. As much as she should and as much as looking at it hurt, the ring was still in there. Her hands curled around it while eyes closed taking in a breath. ”Much more”.

<Tag: Ayden>

OOC: Don’t you worry your pretty little head. You just get better gurly. And the time can progress up by a lot since it would probably take at least 15-20 minutes to explain the prior story.

[Ayden Sheppard]

Katrina's Quarters

Ayden could tell that something big was plaguing her best friends' mind and she also knew there was nothing she could do about it. The aged pilot took in a deep breath, dropping her hands to her lap as she waited for the Marine to speak, giving her time to gather her thoughts without any pressure.

When the other woman spoke up, Ayden's gaze dropped to her hands, her right index finger and thumb absently twisting at the white gold engagement ring and wedding band that still rested on her left ring finger. Sitting through Alavair's memorial service had been the hardest thing for her but she had done it. Receiving his flag had been what broke her though. He was gone and there was nothing anyone could do to bring him back. The love of her life, the one man that truly understood her had been taken from this universe and despite the way she held herself around others, she still broke down every night while clutching his dog tags to her chest.

"I know that if you could have been there, you would have, Kat. I don't want you to beat yourself up over it. I understand." Ayden whispered softly, lifting her hand to rest on Kat's knee and she gave it a gentle squeeze. The last thing she wanted was for her friend to beat herself up over something she had no power over.

Ayden fell silent then, listening to the ordeal her friend had been put through, her hand lifting to her mouth in shock when she saw the marks on Kat's back and shoulders. Ayden had similar ones but hers had faded over time. She closed her eyes and took in a slow breath before reaching her hand out to trail her fingers over the marks.

"That bastard." She hissed quietly, shaking her head. "If I ever see him again ..." Ayden didn't even finish her sentence, she knew that she didn't have to. Kat knew her well enough to have some idea of what was going through the older woman's mind.

"Keep going. I'm listening."

< Tag Kat >

( Thanks for understanding. *hugs* I just took the timestamp out so we don't have to worry about it. )

[Katrina Logan]

Katrina’s Quarters

It felt much more relieving to tell a friend about her troubles than a doctor. The words came out much easier. She didn’t have to hide true feelings nor put up any official front. This was Ayden who didn’t care about position or military status. She was there as a friend.

The purple velvet case was clutched in Kat’s hand. Her stride stopped short in front of Ayden. Ayden was sitting as Logan brought the case around opening and revealing the contents of the custom made ring inside. ”We had such a beautiful moment in the gardens outside. The words he told me are forever embedded in my heart. They’re too painful to reiterate now and I do apologize, but he went to three different planets to have this made.” She brought out the ring and handed it to Ayden. It was still as shiny as when he first placed it on her finger. ”We were never so much in love as we were the day he gave this to me.”

Then she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. ”That was until I got back here. I was getting ready for a briefing, but was not alone. The ring was too big on my fingers and when the Titans took me, it fell off.” She paused at this moment. This was the hard part. ”It was the last time I saw him.” She began to cry. ”He never came to my rescue. I don’t even know where he is, no one does. He just left.” She continued to go on about the cloning experience, explaining in detail how an identical copy of herself was made. It was the first time she made physical contact with Marcus..well the clone did. Oh god, Marcus, how does she explain this one. Taking in another breath through sobs and excitement, the Major opened up.

”Marcus. How do I explain him? He just began being there for me, through all of this. At first I just took it as a brother would to his family. But, as time went by, it seems to have become more. My problem is, I don’t know if I’m too scared to allow for it to continue or I’m just too stubborn to believe Robert will come waltzing through that door at any moment and whisk me away.” She plopped her behind next to Ayden, head down.

”I just don’t know anymore.”

<Tag: Ayden>

[Ayden Sheppard]

Katrina’s Quarters

The ring that was pulled from the little purple box was absolutely magnificent. While Ayden's ring was gorgeous itself, it didn't even compare to the one that she was currently holding, the one that the love of Kat's life had gotten for her. You would think that a man who spent so much time finding the perfect pieces for a ring of that magnitude really did care about a woman but apparently that wasn't the case. Ayden wanted to hunt her former friend down and put all her martial arts training to work. It wasn't right that he had left her best friend like that.

"Robert went AWOL?" She asked, raising a brow slightly as she watched her friend. That didn't sound like Robert at all but people change over time.

With a shake of her head, Ayden placed the ring back in the box and closed it up before setting it on the bed between them. "Kat, darling, you know I love you, but honestly, if that man ever came back into your life, I would have to beat you senseless if you ever took him back. That's like me taking back Chad."

Ayden was sure Kat remembered who Chad was. He had been mentioned once or twice. He was the man that Ayden had been engaged to years ago, the man who had beat her and degraded her and later on, cheated on her on their wedding night. He was the man that had made Ayden into the closed off, cold and calculating person she was before Alavair came into the picture.

"I believe you're too scared. I was. I tried running from how I felt for Alavair but in the end I gave up fighting. Sometimes you just have to let these things happen. Marcus is a good man, he's a better man then Robert ever was." She spoke quietly, placing her hand on top of Kat's. "Give him a chance. Try to move on. Robert never deserved you."

<Tag Kat>

[Katrina Logan]

Katrina’s Quarters

Her warm hands tingled through Katrina’s tense angered soul. The soft voice of a dear friend calmed an aching heart. Her words pierced a dying woman’s aura. ”Maybe it’s me who doesn’t deserve anyone Ayden” she replied softly in return. The muscles in her shoulders were slowly winding down as the knots would settle for a later massage date. But who would give the massage? It wasn’t like there was a chiropractor with massage therapy anywhere close by. Darkened eyes went to the floor. ”I’m afraid Ayden. Can I ever love again? I mean, do I go against protocol yet again and put another man’s career in jeopardy? And over what? Me? What do I really want out of life?” Katrina felt a sense to just let it out now.

”When I first joined the military, it was to help people…to make sure that what happened to my brothers wouldn’t happen to another family. But, it has and I knew I couldn’t save everyone. I knew that, but I had to try. I never intended to fall in love, thinking about a family” she continued feeling the wrenching pain of a barren stomach that once harbored a child. ”Now, it’s all I think about. I can’t seem to break it away and do my duty anymore. I’m not so sure I’m cut out to be a soldier anymore” she finished giving Ayden a look. Katrina had been considering resigning for a while. But that would mean leaving Marcus behind and going home. She was torn and not sure of her future. The pains were still fresh in her heart and Ayden’s presence, as much as she loved her, was making those pains more predominant.

Then again, maybe this was exactly what she needed.

<Taggies>

OOC: Sorry for my lameness. Busy busy busy UGH

[Ayden Sheppard]

Katrina’s Quarters

Ayden had been in Katrina's shoes before. Maybe it wasn't in the same way but she knew what it was like to have one's heart ripped out, to be broken, to be afraid, to be lost. She didn't want those thoughts for her friend, she wanted her to be happy, wanted her to get that 'happily ever after' that she so desperately needed. Ayden sighed softly as she raked her fingers back through her hair before biting down on her lower lip.

"Sometimes we have to do something that will cause us pain to help us grow." She spoke up after a few long minutes. "If you truly care about Marcus, you need to go after him, make this work. We're in another galaxy, Kat, it's not like Troy is going to get pissed off if you and Marcus have something going on. Worse comes to worse just ask to be transferred to a different team." Even though that still wouldn't help all that much, it was all Ayden had for the moment. She honestly didn't know what else she could do, but she was trying.

"Yes, you are." Ayden spoke up, her voice firm as she turned her frame to face her best friend's. "You are the strongest woman I have ever met. Don't let one man destroy you. Don't let him take away your heart and soul. You need to find a way to move on, Kat, and I know it's hard, really, I do, but you can't just up and leave because you were knocked down. You get back on your feet and you keep moving!" Ayden wanted her friend to be happy and healthy again and she was going to stop at nothing to make sure that it happened.

<Tag Kat>

[Katrina Logan]

Katrina’s Quarters

Kat heard Ayden’s words, every single one of them. Her eyes closed tightly trying to fight the tears that were eminent. She wasn’t exactly sure if the medical officer had ever cried in front of her dear friend before, but this time it happened. The pent up emotions became too much. Ivory hands covered the Major’s face feeling the shaking of her body through sobbing moans and cries. If Robert were to have walked through the door right now, Kat would have shot him, mangled, or something worse at this moment. Even if Marcus walked through the door, Logan wasn’t sure what she was capable of doing.

The prior inside was still present and at times of anger or high anxiety, the emotions of control and obedience and pain took over. Katrina became a different person. Her team saw it, her commanding officer saw it, and her dear friends saw it, especially Marcus. She could see that cocky but sexy grin through closed eyes when Kat would go too far. It was his special way of showing her that maybe she needed to take a breather. But Marcus wouldn’t be there all the time. What would happen if those feelings of killing, destruction, and manipulation really took a hold of her again? Could she really handle it? Or would the prior come back?

”Ayden?” she said softly through tears. She felt as though possibly her friend left so Katrina could be alone. It isn’t what she wanted, but would totally understand. Her friend came by to see her and get reacquainted and all Kat did was ruin it with mushy crap about an idiot of a so called boyfriend that up and left her without warning, without any respect or decency of a good-bye, good luck, see ya, NOTHING. ”I hope she didn’t leave” came out in a whisper as the Major continued to weep uncontrollably.

<Tag: Ayden>

[Ayden Sheppard]

Katrina’s Quarters

Ayden never really knew what to do when people cried but she tried her best. She wasn't one that was very good with emotions, but Alavair had helped her in more ways than one. When the Major broke down beside her, Ayden wrapped her arms around her friend, gently tugging her closer so that she could comfort her - or at least hope to comfort her. Her hand soon moved to rub down Kat's back in a soothing motion as she stayed quiet, giving her friend the time she needed to break down, to let it all out. She didn't mind, she wasn't uncomfortable around things like this any longer, she knew how to handle it - at least a little bit - and she wanted to help Kat in whatever way she could.

When the older woman heard Kat's voice, Ayden tilted her head to the side so she could get a look at the Major's face. She then lifted a hand up to wipe some tears away from Katrina's cheeks and she gave her a smile. "I'm still here, darling. I haven't went anywhere." Her voice was low as she spoke, and she made sure to keep her hand rubbing at Kat's back. "Just let it all out." She whispered. She knew that a good cry did the heart good and that there was nothing wrong with it. Ayden spent almost every night crying over the loss of her husband and while she would never admit it to someone, it happened. She knew what it felt like to be in Kat's shoes - at least to a certain extent - and she wanted her friend to be healed.

<Tag Kat>