Darkness and Pain of Death

[Azalea "De" Andre]

2000
Infirmary
Stargate Command

"Nurse call it," the doctor told the nurse to the left of him. The blonde hair RN took in deep breath. Though doing this a few times, it never got easier facing death. "Time of death, 20:00," the nurse muttered. A white blanket was brought over and laid over the valiant female cadet, taking the form of the dead body. Nurses and Doctors hung their heads at the young life that was taken. A life that seem so short compared to others their eyes had witnessed.[/b]


------------------

2000
In Azalea's subconscious mind


"Azalea! Wake up!" Destiny Andre voices filled the air of basically a dead mind; a voice that Azalea hadn't heard for a long time. Letting out a small moan, the twenty year old raised her groggy head taking a look around. "Huh what? Des what are you doing here?" asked looking over the woman that was her older sister. The red head female chuckled shaking her head walking into the young sister's room. "Waking your ass up so you aren't late for your morning classes," told her shutting off the alarm that was blaring in the background and plopping down on the bed, "Now listen. I have to fly a plane all the way out to California tonight and won't be back till Friday. You are in charge of the house till I get back and please, if you do have a party, clean up after yourself this time?"

The cadet rubbed the tired eyes staring at her sister who hadn't been seen in almost a year. "Des, what about the Icarus? Aren't you suppose to be on that for like the next year or something like that?" asked sitting up and running a hand through the rat's nest of hair. The older woman just looked down at her confused. "The Icarus? What is that? Az you really need to stop partying so hard on weekdays. It really messes with your mind so much. I have never heard of anything called the Icarus. I fly planes for American Airlines but there is NO way that you got an Icarus from that," a chuckle escaped through her lips shaking a head at the little sister then started getting up and heading out.

"Wait, where am I Des? Aren't I dead?" asked even more confused. As the vision cleared, the brunette looked around to find herself in a colorful decorated with posters of bands, pictures and different quotes. Outside was the sounds of cars passing by in a small neighborhood with people coming out of their doors onto the front yards for the morning people, chatting fainting about different topics. While everything was coming into her mind, Destiny's laughter filled up the room once more. "Wow, you really hit the drinks hard last night sis. No you aren't dead silly! You are living with your older sister, me, in queens right outside of New York City. You are studying to become a RN while I am a pilot for American Airlines. Does any of this ring any bells in that hung over mind of yours?" asked rolling the eyes at the young sister.

Azalea just looked at Destiny then shook her own head. "Umm yeah I guess. I think I did hit the drinks too hard. What about our mom and dad?" asked looking back up. Destiny sighed. "I can't believe you of all people don't remember it Azalea. They died in a car accident and you were almost killed that night too. It is a miracle you're still alive. Look if I wait around any longer I'm going to be late. I'll see you Friday night. OH Sean is coming by to pick you up and take you to your classes while I'm gone since I have to take the car to the airport. I left money for transportation to every where else you need to go in the City, but leave the money in the jar alone! That is no longer party money got it?" scolded her then headed for the door.

"I thought you were my sister NOT my mother? OH and Sean who?" asked once more watching her sister most out the door. An annoyed sigh was heard. "God Azalea! Sean Connolly? You know he has been your boyfriend since your junior year in high school! You would think you would still remember him because he is usually the one that brings you home when you are too wasted to drive home yourself. Now I really have to go! I'll call you when I land," shouted to her and raced out of the room also out of the house. Azalea just blinked, biting her lip while running a hand through her hair once again. What the hell is going on here? I am dead right? Then if I am dead why am I here? thought shaking head and crawling out of bed and heading for the closest. Throwing it open, the young woman's eyes went wide. Well where ever I am, I have good taste in clothing, thought chuckling then jumped hearing a noise from behind. Turning, the female saw a young man that she knew every well even back when being alive; Sean Connolly. "Hey you, I didn't know you were going to be here so soon to take me to my...classes," said walking to the young man that hadn't seen since he left for the new assignment with the Stargate Program but that didn't seem to exist in this place; where ever this place was.


Joint post between Azalea and Destiny Andre

<tag Sean>

[Sean "Mantis" Connolly]

2003

Entering the room, Sean exclaimed, "Hey you! You look great!" Giving her a big hug, he looked her up and down before continuing, "Wow! Did I mention you look great yet?" Winking, he turned around and looked out the window. He was wearing fitted blue jeans and a blue button-down shirt with white vertical stripes under his black leather jacket. Seeing her giving him and odd look in the mirror on the wall, he turned around, cocked an eyebrow, and said, "You're looking at me like I have three heads, Az. What's up?"

[Azalea "De" Andre]

2003

The last this cadet had seen the young man before her was at least five months ago before he was suppose to leave on that new assignment from the Stargate program. Though right now it felt like the young woman had just seen him yesterday. How come it felt like she knew this place but the only memory that was placed inside that mind was all of a past that from some reason didn't seem to exist here. The people were the same but the history wasn't. "yeah I'm fine, I think," told him shaking her head and looking back over at him. "Sean do you know anything about a Stargate Academy? You know like the one you graduated from last year? Or does that sound like I'm speaking latin to you?" Maybe this whole Stargate thing was in her mind. Maybe the teen had just hit the parties a little too hard and it was really affecting her. Whatever the case was, that mind of hers was a jumble mess. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Azalea rested her head on his chest. "For some reason my head really hurts and I can't figure out why," muttered closing her eyes and smiling softly. There was one thing right now that was still the same. Sean was still the most comforting person in her life. Always there whenever she needed him; whether it was face to face, over e-mail, or in a letter.

[Sean "Mantis" Connolly]

2004

At Azalea's words, Sean's smile disappeared and he stared at her for a moment before replying, "I didn't think you'd joke like that, Az ... it's not very funny." It wasn't like her to touch subjects like that.

<Tag Azalea>

What on Earth was going on here? She acted like she didn't remember at all. Painfully, Sean said, "You don't remember what happened for real?" After a long pause, Sean sat on the arm of the leather couch and started, "We were all on board the Prometheus, the whole platoon ... you, me, Mik, Jeff, Caleb, Izzy, Lee, Beck, Adam, Shannon, Paul, Ken, Matt, and Mike ... Major Steele and Senior Chief DeVoss were having us run war games for our second time aboard. We got a distress call from Tegalus, Jarrod Kane needed assistance. The Rand Protectorate got some weapons satellite from a Prior, and used it to obliterate a Caledonian settlement. My dad sent Teal'c and Colonel Mitchell to the surface to negotiate and you, me, and Caleb along to observe." Here he paused again, remembering the next part.

<Tag Azalea>

2006

Collecting his thoughts, Sean continued, "Things went from bad to worse. We couldn't convince the Rand Protectorate to back down, and they powered up the weapon to take out Caledonia's capital. My dad launched the 302s from the Prometheus but they had absolutely no effect, there was some shield around the weapon. Next thing we knew, the satellite turned and shot at a couple of the 302s, vaporizing them." Taking a deep breath, the young man said, "Then it turned its sights on the Prometheus ... one shot took down the shields 80%. My dad ordered the evacuation of the ship, and they started beaming everyone to the surface . . . . . . . . . . . . . they got seventeen people out of 98 off the ship." Sean hung his head now and closed his eyes at the memory.

<Tag Azalea>

[Azalea "De" Andre]

2006

Azalea looked at Sean confused. Why would she joke about this? Right now the cadet was more confused than ever had been in her entire life. Minus the time when the scout for the Stargate Academy approached her about something called the SG program. That was one of the most confusing times in her life. OH and some of her relationship with Sean at the very beginning, but we're digressing. Listening to what Sean said and comparing it to what Destiny told her, it didn't add up. The way the young adult remembered was she was in Washington, while he and a few other people when up to that ship. The stubborn brunette knew a lot of people died that day, but never really asked who. If all of this was true, why didn't Destiny remember it? Looking back over at Sean, she took a seat beside him. "Why don't I remember it that way Sean and who....who all died in that battle?" asked nervously. Sting, Izzy, Jeff, Shannon, and Caleb were some of her closest friends for this Academy. Those names were recognized in the list of familiar faces from the past; whatever that past was.

Biting her lip, she reached over and took Sean's hand. "Something is going on with me Sean. I don't know what it is, but something about....here doesn't feel right. Like this isn't reality, because I'm not remembering anything. My sister was in that battle and doesn't remember anything. Right now she is suppose be on something called the Icarus and is only a commercial air pilot. Please tell me that you are seeing it too," told him looking up worried. Was she really insane and this was the truth? Or was what her version of everything the reality? If there was one person who could set her straight, it was Sean.

< Sean >

[Sean "Mantis" Connolly]

2007

Sean looked down again and sighed, then looked her in the eye, pain reflected at her. "You me and Caleb survived Az ... " he said quietly. "Everyone else ... Colonel Carter, Colonel Mitchell, my dad ... they didn't make it." He could see her start to tear up, and he grabbed her and held her close to him.

"I don't know, Az ... " Sean replied. "You're hallucinating or something ... this is your life and ... I don't know what to say. The doctor said you might have trouble adjusting, and people sometimes make up things to make themselves feel better ... make new realities that are easier to deal with." Sean wished he could do something for her, but the doctor knew the only thing was patience and the medication she had been on. "Isn't it time you took your meds?" Standing up, he went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle, and brought her four pills and a glass of water. "Here babe take it ... " Sean gestured with the glass and his cupped hand.

<Tag Azalea>

[Azalea "De" Andre]

2008

It felt like a knife had been stuck right straight through her heart. As it someone had cut out the heart, thrown it to the ground, and stomped on it. They were the only three that survived? Him, Caleb, and her? That couldn't be! Mikayla was alive and had dropped out of the SGA! Jeff was as well. They had to all still be alive. She would remember if all her friends had died wouldn't she? Tears began welling up in the cadet's eyes. Not from the pain of losing people, but at the frustration of not remembering any of this. Something didn't feel right about this place. Everything was so wrong and it was as if the young woman knew that she didn't belong here. As if something was telling her it wasn't her time yet. Feeling the warm embrace from Sean, the female rested her head on his chest breathing in his familiar scent then looked up at him confused. Pills? Doctor? What was he talking about? Watching him leave then come back with the 'medication' Azalea just stared at it.

"NO! No way! I am not crazy Sean! You of all people should know that! I am not taking those pills when I don't know what they are for!" exclaimed backing away from him, "You know I don't like taking medication! Plus, I know I'm not insane or anything! I remember that night and it did not happen like that!" The female raised her hand in anger but then stopped seeing a sparkling silver band around the ring finger of her left hand. Eyes grew wide as the brunette stared at the beautiful ring wrapped snuggly around the long skinny finger. "Sean...what is that doing on my hand?" asked trying to figure out what in the world was going on here. Now she knew something was definitely up. If Sean had indeed proposed, she would remembered that clearly. Azalea remembered every romantic gesture that Sean had ever done. This would definitely be at the top of the list.

< Sean >

[Sean "Mantis" Connolly]

2009

Sean looked at her with a pained expression and sighed deeply. "I proposed to you three weeks ago, Azalea," he replied to her, gesturing to her glittering finger. "It was time, and we've never been closer. Every once in a while, your PTSD kicks into over drive and you forget lumps of your memory ... you were expeptionally coherent at the time I proposed, it's why I did! I wanted to make sure you really wanted to marry me ... the real you, the one that remembered. Can't you understand that?"

<Tag Azalea>

Glancing at his hand, Sean said quietly, "Here, hon ... take these and you'll feel better. You always do afterward ... I know it doesn't 'seem right' but it is ... don't you trust me?"

<Tag Azalea>

[Azalea "De" Andre]

2010

Looking from the pills to Sean to back to the pills, nothing seemed to add up in Azalea's mind. It was all wrong in so many ways. The Sean that she knew and fell in love with wouldn't force her to do something that she didn't personally agree with. Medicine always played with the mind in some way. Yeah the cadet knew that it was helpful, but still. All the case studies made this young mind uneasily whenever it came to taking them. Though hearing Sean's comment about her problem, not remembering anything, and not trusting him really ate away at her. Taking a deep breath, the young woman took the glass of water and pills, downing them in a matter of seconds then drank basically the whole glass. Looking back over at him, the female sat back on the couch, placing the glass on the coffee table before her. "I'm sorry about this Sean. I didn't think it would be this bad. It just doesn't make sense...none of this. Why can't I remember any of this like you say? Why doesn't it seem real? Why do I have this eerie feeling like I don't belong here just yet?" asked staring straight a head.

< Sean >

Looking down at the ring on the finger, Azalea fiddled with it then looked back at him. "Remind me of how you proposed? Please? Maybe that will spark something. If this really is reality, I want to remember. Please help me," begged him as a small tear ran down the length of the cheek. This was so frustrating to the young mind. Right now all she wanted was the truth and for some reason felt like everything here was a lie and no one was being honest about it.

< Sean >